Give It All Away
by tawnyscrawnylion
Summary: Sequel to Drive My Soul - Three years later and Bella is living in Port Angeles, attending college and working at a coffeeshop. But a surprising guest speaker in her class leads her to an unwanted discovery. Rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_April 2009_

"Grande Extra-Hot Vanilla Latte?" I yelled from behind the espresso machine as I set the white paper cup on the counter. One of the regulars at the Port Angeles Starbucks walked up to the counter and grabbed it, taking a long sip before smiling back at me.

"Thanks, Bella, you're the best!" Grace said before bouncing out of the coffeeshop. I smiled to myself. Starbucks was the most enjoyable job I've ever had. I loved the interactions I got with the amazing regular customers and the homesick tourists. I walked into the backroom and punched out on the computer screen.

Pulling my green apron off and smoothing the collar of my black polo, I reached into the locker and pulled out my cellphone. _Two missed calls._ I punched a couple buttons and checked my call log. _Charlie_. I pressed the send button and the phone dialed his number.

"Hey, Dad. How's it going?" I asked when he answered the phone.

"Good, good, Bells. I'm in Port Angeles and I wanted to see if you wanted to grab lunch?"

I groaned. "Aw, Dad, I've got class in like ten minutes. But how does dinner at my place sound? You have a key, just go over there and hang out for a couple hours."

"Sounds great, Bella. See you tonight."

I hung up, turned on the car, and drove out of the parking lot and headed to Peninsula College. It was freezing cold, so I flicked on the heater in my ancient truck, and it warmed the cab quickly. I turned onto East Lauridsen and hit the gas. I only had two minutes to get to the school, park, and get to class. I had my Physiology/Anatomy class today, and we were supposed to have some guest speaker, a doctor at a local hospital. I couldn't miss today's lecture- we were being tested on it tomorrow.

I finally made it to school (in barely enough time) and ran to the classroom. I wanted to take a seat in the back, but my Professor O'Connor called me up to the front. I sighed as I trudged my heavy backpack down the steps to the front of the classroom.

"Bella, you're late," he said.

"I know, sorry." What the crap was I supposed to say to that? '_No, I'm not._' I almost laughed thinking about his reaction to _that_ answer.

"I passed back last week's exam." His face was straight. Did I fail? Oh shit...

I gulped. "Oh. Okay," I said meekly.

"You're the only one who got a 100. Your classmates will probably want to kill you, seeing as you completely threw off the curve," he said as the corners of his lips pulled up ever-so-slightly.

"Thanks," I grumbled as I turned around and plopped into a seat in the front of the room.

I let my mind wander while Professor O'Connor blabbed away before the guest speaker was supposed to show up. Maybe tomorrow I would drive to La Push and hang out with Jacob at the Garage. He said business had been slow this week, he probably wouldn't be too busy. And I didn't have work or class tomorrow. We could have dinner at Charlie's place. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. I caught the professor finishing his mini-speech and saying, "Please welcome our guest speaker, Dr. Carlisle Cullen." A few oohs came from the class. Dr. Cullen was well-respected. In my case, the air drained from my lungs in a loud _ooooof_ and my vision became blurry.

_Keep it together, Bells. So, you haven't seen the Cullens in three years. Big freaking deal. Pull. It. Together._ And I did. I sat quietly in my seat while Carlisle lectured. I did notice, however, that whenever our eyes met he gave me a very peculiar look.

I fumbled with the key, trying desperately to unlock my truck and get in before Carlisle had a chance to talk to me. A voice cleared behind me, and I turned around.

"Bella, hey!" he said smiling brilliantly.

"Hey, Carlisle! Long time no see!" I said giving him a warm, genuine hug. When I let go, he gave me the same funny look. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, nothing," he said, smiling again. A distraction, I knew. Edward had once told me that a vampire's smile was meant to distract his prey from other pressing matters. Namely life.

"Carlisle," I said, a little sternly. "I'm not stupid. I've known you guys long enough to know when you're lying to me. What's going on?"

"Bella, truly, it's nothing. It's just, well," he paused, as if to look for the right way to phrase the sentence. "You just haven't changed a bit, that's all," he said, still smiling. He kissed me on the cheek and muttered, "Take care," before walking off to his car.

"What was _that_ all about?" a voice sneered behind me. I whipped around, my back now to the truck.

"Jake!" I squealed, smiling. I jumped into his arms and kissed him on the cheek. I loved when he surprised me at school.

"Uh, yeah. What was Carlisle doing here?"

"Oh, Jake, that was nothing. He was a guest speaker in class today, and we were just catching up out here in the parking lot."

"What did he mean, 'you haven't changed a bit'? What's going on?" he demanded.

"Jacob, freaking calm down, you're overreacting. Anyways, I've gotta get home, Charlie's waiting at the house for me. Wanna come over?" I asked trying to change the subject.

He sighed. "Yeah, sure. I'll follow you."

But Carlisle's words still rang in my head. _You haven't changed a bit, that's all._ What _was_ that supposed to mean?


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **__ Thank you for the review, __**blueandblack**__. I appreciate it a lot! :D A lot of people added Give It All Away to their story alerts, which makes me super excited. I hope everyone likes the sequel even better than Drive My Soul. Here's Chapter Two. I plan on having the first five chapters done before October 1st. The story will be between ten and thirteen chapters long. If everyone likes Give It All Away, there may be a third installment to this story. Anyways. Enough of my blabbing. I give you Chapter Two!_

* * *

After Charlie left I went into the hall closet and pulled out the scrapbook Renee and I worked on last year. I threw on a pair of sweats and curled up on the couch with a glass of wine. The first page was brown and green with a handwritten note from Renee.

_Bella, my beautiful daughter, here's to many wonderful memories to fill this book. Love you, Renee._

I turned the pages slowly, smiling at the colorful stickers and paper and pictures that filled the scrapbook. I stopped at a page in the middle. It was red with auto-themed stickers. In the middle was a picture of Jacob and me, three years ago, standing in front of the Rabbit with cheese-eating grins. I laughed and pulled the picture out of it's place. The laughter stopped when I flipped the book to the very last page. The picture was taken one month ago. It was Jacob and me, again, standing in front of the apartment with the same cheese-eating grin, holding the apartment keys in our hand. My hands shook as I set the pictures up side-by-side to compare.

There was absolutely positively no difference in either of our faces, our features. I still looked eighteen.

"Bells, what the hell? It's like two in the morning!" Jacob moaned, his voice thick with sleep.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," I sniffed, "But I really need you to come over. It's important."

He sighed, and I heard a ruffle and the mattress creak. "I'll be there in an hour."

"An hour!?" I shrieked. I didn't _have_ an hour! "Geeze, Jacob, can you run instead of drive?"

He sighed again. "Fine, I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up the phone.

I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and splashed some cold water on my face. My eyes were red and puffy. I soaked a washcloth in the frigid water and pressed it against my eyes. I heard the bell ring five minutes later. When I removed the washcloth, my eyes were still red, but a little less puffy.

I opened the door and Jacob did a onceover of my ratty appearance.

"Jeezus, Bella, what the hell happened? Are you okay?" He pulled me into a tight hug. I sobbed into his chest.

"I-I-I... Ugh. I just d-don't know, Jake. I don't u-understand!"

He stroked my hair and softly whispered in my ear, "Don't understand what, honey?"

"Jacob, I haven't aged! _We_ haven't aged. In three whole years, maybe four, we haven't aged at all!"

He pulled me away from his chest and stared into my eyes, bewildered. "What are you _talking_ about, Bella?"

"Look!" I shrieked, a few octaves higher than necessary. I yanked the pictures off the coffeetable and threw them under Jacob's nose. "Look!" I yelled again.

After I had calmed down a little, with the help of some hot camomile tea and Jacob rubbing my back, we talked about my discovery.

"Bella, I don't age. Because of the whole wolf transformation thing, I won't age. That's why I have looked so much older than my real age for so long. I went through that crazy growth spurt in like a month, and now I won't age until I give up being a wolf."

"How do you do that?" I asked.

"Easy," he grinned. "Stop shifting."

I nodded. "Well, then why haven't _I_ aged?" I asked nervously.

He smiled and held me closely trying to comfort me. "Good genes, you're one lucky girl," he joked. Then he kissed the top of my head and said, "Come on, Bells. Let's go to bed. You can worry about this tomorrow."

"You're staying with me, right?" I asked.

"Of course."

The next day, I woke up and made Jacob some breakfast. We didn't talk about the aging (or lack thereof) and I didn't want to press him. But as soon as Jacob left, I picked up the phone and dialed Dr. Cullen's number. I still knew it by heart.

"Cullen household," a voice answered. I gulped. My hands shook a little.

"Hey, Edward, it's Bella. Can I talk to Carlisle?"

"Bella?" he whispered, then cleared his throat. "Uh, sure, one minute."

"Hello, Bella, how are you?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm fine. I was wondering if I could meet you and ask you a few questions?"

"Sure, sure. Where would you like to meet?"

"Uh, you can meet me at my place if you want," I suggested.

"Sure, are you still living with Charlie?"

"Oh, no, I'm living in Port Angeles. My address is 202 East Lauridsen Boulevard. It's down the street from the college. Apartment number four-oh-four."

"Okay, Bella, I'll see you in about an hour."

"Oh, thank you Carlisle!" I gushed.

He chuckled. "No problem, Bella. Erm, Edward would like to speak with you, would you mind?"

I gulped again. _Yes, I would mind_, I wanted to say, but I didn't. "Uh, sure."

"Hey Bella," he said, a split second later.

"Hey, Edward, can I actually call you later? Uh, I have to take a shower and clean up my house. And I have plans in an hour." Not a lie, I was waiting for Carlisle.

"Oh, yeah, sure," he said, not bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice."Bye, Edward," I said before clicking off the receiver.

I took a shower and then waited for Carlisle. I nervously paced around the room, organizing and reorganizing the magazines on the coffeetable. I grabbed my lint roller and swept it across the couch. I loaded up the dishwasher, then washed my hands. The doorbell rang as I was drying them. I ran to the door to open it up.

"Carlisle," I breathed. He stepped inside the house and I motioned for him to sit on the couch. He sat and I reached across the coffeetable and handed him the pictures. His perfect eyesight surely would notice the subtle differences that my imperfect human eyes couldn't. "Please, please tell me... I've aged, I've changed, haven't I?"

His eyes glazed over a little bit, and a look of sympathy crossed his face. He scanned the pictures silently. Five minutes later, five minutes longer than he probably needed, he finally spoke.

"No, Bella. You haven't." I felt my heart drop.

"What!? You have to be kidding me! Why? Why, Carlisle, why!?" I screamed, the tears blurring my eyesight and pouring down my face.

"Shh, Bella, calm down," he cooed. His soothing voice really did help a lot. "I have a theory," he said softly. My eyes turned up to his and my eyebrows rose.

"When you were bit by James, after Edward sucked out the venom and saved you, you were left with a scar. A cold, glittering scar," I absentmindedly ran my thumb over the bite. He continued, "That might have something to do with the lack of aging. Also, the miscarriage you suffered three years ago could possibly have something to do with it."

"But how?" My eyes stung. It was still hard, all these years later, to think about my baby I lost.

Carlisle sighed. "I'm not sure, Bella. There's really nothing at all I can research on werewolf babies. Or vampire bite survivors, for that matter."

I just nodded. It was hard to talk. Carlisle got up and sat next to me on the couch. He wrapped his cold arms around my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Just wait a couple more years, maybe you're just aging incredibly slowly. Maybe in a couple more years you'll have a couple noticeable differences. Just hang in there, Bella."

As comforting as Carlisle's reassurance was, I still couldn't get his theory out of my mind. Because of my attack, because of my failed pregnancy, I was doomed to look exactly the same until I died? No way. That wasn't possible... Was it?


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: **OMGOMG Grey's Anatomy tomorrow night! And all day tomorrow I'm going to be crazy busy, so Chapter Four won't get posted until sometime in the evening (EST) on the 26th. Buuut, to make it up to you, it's going to be super long and nooo cliffhangers! :) Enjoy!_

* * *

_Rrriiiinnnggg! Rrriiiinnggg!_

I groaned and looked at the alarm clock. _Eight in the freaking morning!? Does somebody have a deathwish?_ I reached out and grabbed my screaming cellphone.

"Mm, hullo?"

"Hey, Jacob! It's Alice. Alice Cullen. Can I come to Bella's surprise birthday dinner tonight?"

I shot straight up in bed. _What the hell was a Cullen doing calling me?_

"What!? Are you _nuts_!? Is your _brother_ planning on tagging along too?" I spat.

"Jacob, please. I've already seen. Bella will be _ecstatic_ to see me. And no, Edward will not show up."

I groaned. She'd _seen_? So she knew she was coming, anyways. So there was absolutely no reason for her to disturb me at _eight in the freaking morning_!! "Whatever, Alice. I'm going to sleep now." I snapped the phone shut with too much force and it cracked in half.

_Great, just freaking great_. I made a mental note to stop by the cellular store to buy a new phone.

I shoved the mini tank of helium into the backseat and threw the bag of balloons I'd bought on top of it. I walked around to the front of the car and opened up the door of the Rabbit. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I'd bought the cake. And balloons. I'd bought the streamers and flowers and vases. I'd reserved the table at the restaurant and rented a tux. I'd even bought myself a new cellphone to replace the brand new phone I'd snapped in half this morning. There was only one last stop.

* * *

"Gross!" I squealed. I was helping Lora, my coworker, dump the mop bucket water into the drain in the backroom, when we lost grip of the bucket and dirty water sprayed my face. Lora was quick enough on her feet that she'd jumped out of the way, while I just stood there like a complete idiot.

"Hahaha," she laughed. "Oh, Bella. You always have the best luck," she joked.

"Whatever," I grumbled, pulling the hem of my green apron up to wipe the dirty water off my face. This threw Lora into another fit of giggles, and I knew exactly why. There was a blob of whipped cream on the corner of my apron. The exact corner I'd just used to wipe the dirty mop water off my face. I groaned and walked over to the hand sink, wetting a paper towel and wiping the dirty mop water slash whipped cream off my face.

"So is _that_ what you do to keep your skin so young?" she teased. Two weeks ago I might have laughed and come up with some witty comeback. Today, this comment struck me like a lightning bolt.

"Yeah," was all I could choke out. Luckily Lora was giggling too hard to notice the change in my demeanor.

"So, are we still on for Mexican tonight?" she asked. Tonight was my birthday, and Lora convinced me to go out to a Mexican restaurant with her. I was hesitant, especially after she'd admitted that she planned on having the live Mariachi band sing me a rendition of "Feliz Cumpleanos", but I told her I'd go anyways.

"For sure. I've gotta clock out, but I'll meet you tonight at five." I walked to the machine and entered my employee number on the screen before grabbing my things and heading out.

My shirt and pants reeked of sour milk. My hair smelled like mocha powder. And my face needed a good wash. I ripped the clothes off and threw them in the hamper and doused it in Febreeze. I stepped into the clawfoot tub in my bathroom that I'd filled with Vanilla & Cocoa Butter scented bubble bath. I sighed and relaxed into the scalding water while a Bedouin Soundclash CD filled the room. I laid there soaking for a while after I shampooed and conditioned my hair and scrubbed my face. Once the water started to cool and the bubbles dissapated, I climbed out of the tub and wrapped myself in the microfiber robe that Jacob had bought me for Christmas.

Opening my closet, I pulled out a pair of nice light-washed jeans and a pale green blouse. When I threw them on the bed, my eyes caught the time on the alarm clock. _4:27_ it glared at me. Dammit! I had a half hour to get ready and be at the Mexican restaurant. I snorted. _That would never happen_, I thought.

I called Lora to let her know I'd be about twenty minutes late, and she didn't seem to care. So I ran the blowdryer through my hair quickly, grabbed my shoes and purse, and ran out the door.

"Ooof!" I yelled when I flew backwards, down the hall of my apartment building. Did I really just run into a wall?

"Geeze, Bella, you need to be more careful," the velvety smooth voice told me as it offered a perfect white hand. I declined the hand.

"Urgh, Edward! Are you trying to kill me?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "Just trying to wish you a Happy Birthday." I eyed him suspiciously.

"What are you up to, Edward Cullen?" I demanded.

"Nothing, nothing, Bella. Like I said, happy birthday. I'll talk to you some other time. I can see you're in a hurry." He nodded at my feet, which were still bare. I hastily pulled my cream flats on.

"I'll call you tonight, Edward, after I get home," I sighed. He smiled and gave me a quick hug before disappearing.

* * *

Oh God, oh God, oh God. Bella would be here any minute now. What if she _hated_ me for this? She really doesn't like surprises. Or what if, even worse than rejecting my surprise dinner, she rejects the _other_ surprise I have waiting for her? My hands shot to my pockets where they fiddled with the smooth box that weighed my whole body down. Granted, it weighed less than half a pound, but I _knew_ it was in there, and it made me nervous.

I saw her truck pull up into the parking lot. Someone yelled _She's here!_, but I wasn't paying attention who. Four of her coworkers were here, Angela, Ben, Charlie, and Alice were also seated at the table. I didn't take my eyes off her as she stumbled out of the truck, tripped on the sidewalk, lost a shoe, put the shoe on, and finally made her way to the door. We all turned so our bodies were facing the door. The bright silver and blue balloons sparkled in the dim light. The brilliant blue lilies in silver vases were perfectly placed on the table. Everything about this night had to be absolutely perfect. My palms started to sweat and my knees started to shake.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:**__ Really short chapter, lol. I've been so freaking busy these past few days / I'm going to California for a while (not sure how long, bought a one-way ticket) and so I've been packing and doing laundry and getting groceries for my husband (he really does not know how to cook when I'm away!) My apologies for the crap chapter, but as soon as I get to California and sink my teeth into a beautiful In-N-Out Double Double, Animal Style, I will have all the motivation needed to write an amazing Chapter Five! :) PROMISE!_

* * *

"_SURPRIIIIISE!_" The sudden burst of people in the small Mexican restaurant shocked me. I jumped ten feet in the air, but smiled and relaxed when I saw all the familiar faces. _Remind me to slaughter Jacob for doing this when we get home..._ I thought to myself before walking up to the table with all my anxious guests.

I stopped short when I saw a familiar, yet incredibly unexpected face. _"Alice?_", I asked incredulously, "what the _heck_ are you doing here?" I was happy and confused.

She laughed, her voice as melodic as ever, before pulling me into a hug and whispering, "I saw that you were having a surprise party, so I figured I'd crash it."

I laughed too. I guess nothing got by Alice..

Halfway through my meal (and my third margarita) I'd noticed that Jacob's leg was bouncing uncontrollably. I rested my hand on it gently. It was weird to me, because I knew that Jacob only did that when he was nervous, scared, or seriously bored. And I didn't like _any_ of those options.

He placed his scorching palm on top of the back of my hand, and I noticed it was slightly damp. _So he was nervous or scared?_ I shook the thoughts out of my head and smiled at him before turning my attention back to my other guests. Charlie was talking to my manager Leina about fishing, a few of my classmates were talking about the Physiology exam coming up, and I had noticed that my coworker Josh was eyeing Alice lustfully. I chuckled to myself. _Ohh, if only he knew..._

The table grew suddenly quiet and I turned my head to the left, where Jacob had stood up from his chair. All eyes were on him, and so I figured mine should be too. But I couldn't help but look around the table. My eyes stopped at Charlie's face, plastered with the biggest shit eating grin I'd ever seen. That made me nervous. My eyes continued to scan the table, and stopped when a pair of glassy golden eyes met mine. Alice was trying to see. Or she saw something. Or maybe she saw nothing. Whatever it was, I knew her blank look in her eyes meant _something_ was going on with her special abilities. And that made me even more nervous than Charlie's too-happy smile.

Jacob cleared his throat and turned to face me. I felt the heat in my cheeks and wanted to dump my margarita on my head to cool the burn in my face. He pulled my fiery hand into his and bent down on one knee. I gulped. _Oh God, oh God, please, please don't tell me this is happening._ He cleared his throat again before pulling a small, shiny ring from his pant pocket. _Oh shit, ohh shit, please don't do this now!!_

"Bella," he started, nearly choking on his words, "ever since that first day in La Push, on the beach, when you flirted shamelessly with me, I've been completely and utterly smitten with you." I winced at the intentions behind the shameless flirting. He ignored it and continued.

"But that puppy-dog crush that I had," _Pun intended, I presume?_ I thought to myself, "That crush developed into something more, so much more. When our friendship started to develop, and we spent every single day together, I quickly realized that I was in love with you. And that the love was powerful, and everlasting. And then I went through a hard time in my life, and it was _you_ I was able to confide in," I nodded, knowing he was talking about his 'transformation' to wolf-boy, and he continued, "and when I knew that you were the one person I could say anything to, it only deepened my feelings for you. And now, here we are, three years later, and I'm overwhelmingly in love with you. So I'd like to ask you, Bella, if you feel the same for me. Will you marry me, Isabella Swan?"

The whole crowd sighed and oohed and aawed, and I felt dizzy. _Marriage_. I gulped. I was _way_ too young for marriage. And Jacob was even younger! Why did he have to do this _now_, in front of an audience? What the _heck_ was he thinking? I nearly fainted when I realized what I had to say, what I had to do.

I took the ring, and rested it in his palm. His whole body grew stiff, his face stayed frozen.

"Jake," I whispered, hot tears forming in my eyes, "you know I love you, too. But I'm so sorry to do this to you. I can't, Jake. I'm not ready for marriage, not yet.."

The table was insanely quiet, and I blushed deeply realizing that all eyes were most _certainly_ on me, as well as all ears. After a long minute, Jacob said nothing. I grabbed my purse from the table, threw thirty bucks cash down, and ran out of the restaurant. On the ride home, I almost had to pull over, my tears blurring my vision. But I made it home safely and trudged up the stairs to my apartment. All I wanted right now was some pajamas and some Ben & Jerry's. And a toilet; I was going to puke.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:** Fairly short chapter.. My laptop is at the Apple Store being repaired. The day before I flew out to California, my husband BROKE it, and the repair is taking waaay longer than it was supposed to. Le sigh. This chapter I wrote on my mom's computer at her house, because I needed to update the story and even though Chapter Five is already written on my laptop, I kindof like this one better. I'll post a Chapter Six as soon as I can, but I have an outline on my laptop that I really need to write my chapters, hence why this one is so short. I also have an idea for another story, but I don't want two stories going at once, and I wrote that first chapter on my mom's laptop but lost the damn thing. This has soooo not been my week. Anyways- Enjoy! :) And please review!_

_**One Week Later**_

Jacob has called thirty seven times in seven days. Work has called me six times, the final time was to let me know that if I didn't show up for my shift tomorrow, I would be fired. School called once, but luckily for me the majority of my classes were hybrids, and I was making up my work online. I still needed time. Time to make a decision.

I love Jacob, I really, really do. But _marriage_? Marriage was something I'd promised Renee that I wouldn't even _consider_ until I was well into my late twenties/early thirties. I wanted to call her and ask her what she thought about the situation. But I was so scared that she'd tell me that Jacob was a freaking catch and that I was an idiot to let him get away.

_Rrrriiiinnnngggg_

Work. I sighed and flipped the phone open to answer.

"Bella? Sheesh, Bella, finally you answer the damn phone! We all thought you'd commited suicide or something! Leina is like, three seconds away from breaking down your door!"

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I've just needed some time to myself. I'm coming to work tomorrow, don't worry. I'm just a little stressed."

"Ya think?" Lora said, snorting out loud.

"Sorry, again."

"You know you don't have to marry him _today_, Bella! You can accept a proposal without running to Vegas and getting hitched immediately. You guys can have a nice, long engagement."

Lora's words stopped me dead in my tracks. _Oh my God,_ I thought, _she's right! Why didn't I think of that before?"_

"Oh my God, Lora. You're right! Thank you!"

I snapped the phone shut, grabbed my car keys, and drove as fast as I could possibly drive in my finicky old truck to La Push.

It was getting dark when I'd pulled up to Jake's shop, but I saw all the lights on in the garage so I knew he was there. I got out of the truck and walked up to the office, hesitating slightly before pushing the door open.

"Bella?" he asked, staring at me incredulously.

"Ask me again," I said.

He looked confused. "What?"

"Ask me," I whispered, "Again.. Ask me to marry you."

"Uh," he said, looking around. "Okay," he breathed running a hand through his hair. He got out of the chair he was sitting in and pulled a tiny box out of his greasy coveralls.

"Bella, will you marry me?" he asked, tears forming in both our eyes.

"Absolutely. On one condition," I said. He gave me a puzzled look. "We have a long engagement. No shotgun weddings. A nice, long engagement with plenty of time for me to get used to the idea of becoming the Mrs. Jacob Black."

He smiled brilliantly, tears streaming down his face. "Of course!"

He pulled me up into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head. He was shaking slightly, probably from nerves, and he smelled like oil and sweat. I wrapped my arms aroung him and whispered, "I love you, Jake. I'm sorry I ignored you for a week. I was just scared."

"Bella, honey, I understand. It's okay," he replied.

"Mom?"

"Bella! Oh God, Charlie's been worried sick about you! He wouldn't tell me what's up, but Bella, you scared everyone. Where the hell have you been?"

"Jacob proposed."

"Oh," she said, and I could hear a sigh on the other end of the phone. It was quiet for a moment before she spoke again, "Bella, that's fantastic, it really is. If you're happy, I'm happy."

"I'm very happy, Mom. And we're having a long engagement. I want to finish school first."

"Oh, that's a huge relief. Bella, you're a smart woman with a good head on your shoulders. You'll make the right decision, I know you will."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you,"

"I love you too, Bella."

I hung up the phone and exhaled. That wasn't so painful. Life was swinging back into it's place.

The weeks passed, and things were back to normal. Work, school, Jacob, sleep, repeat. Lora wanted to go to Barnes & Nobles and look at Bridal magazines and wedding planning guides, but I told her it was too early for that now. She was a little dejected but didn't argue. Everything was leveled out, until a knock on my door on an early Saturday shook my whole world upside down, _again_. For Christ's sake, nothing in my life can go norrmally for any extended period of time.

"Bella, I'm worried. Alice said your future disappeared," said the velvety voice belonging to the marble statue standing in the doorway of my apartment. My stomach dropped.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN:** my shortest chapter. but hey, it's an update, so you can't complain! hahaha. life has been crazy lately. but i'm going to try and write chapter seven and have it up by the end of the week. i really don't want to give up on this story!! xoTawny_

* * *

"Edward? What the hell are you doing here!?" I tried to yell, make it sound threatening, but the look on his face and the tone of his voice made my words stick in my throat and it was barely above a whisper.

"May I come in?"

"Uhm, sure." I opened the door to let him in and ran to the couch which was cluttered with laundry that needed to be folded. I motioned to the couch. "Please, sit."

"Bella, the reason I'm here, is I'm incredibly, incredibly worried. Alice saw your future disappear a couple weeks ago. I wanted to come over here immediately, but Carlisle told me it wasn't my place anymore. But I couldn't stay away anymore..."

"What are you talking about? Did Alice see me... Die?" I gulped.

"No, no.. She just _can't see you_ anymore." I sat down on the couch next to Edward and saw him stiffen slightly. I scooted a little bit farther from him.

"Your scent is so strong. But it's okay."

"Edward, I think I know why my future disappeared." He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. "Jacob and I are getting married."

Edward's entire body stiffened. He wasn't breathing. He wasn't blinking. He was just a statue. An amazingly beautiful marble statue. It felt like hours before he spoke again. "Congratulations." It was harsh, and ugly, and came out almost as a growl. It wasn't anything like the beautiful voice I was used to hearing from him. I felt the tears sting my eyes.

"Edward, _please_. Can't you just be happy for me?" I cried.

He snorted. "Yes, I'll be incredibly happy for you. But it won't mask my worry. My fear. Bella, Jacob is _dangerous_."

This time, I snorted. "Edward, you're a fucking _vampire_. Your one purpose in life is to kill people. Jacob's purpose in life is to _protect_ people!"

Anger and pain flashed in his eyes as he stood up from the couch and appeared on the other side of the living room. I quickly stumbled around my words after realizing what I'd said.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just meant- I just want," I sighed when I realized it was pointless to keep jumping around my words. Edward stood stiff and motionless in my living room. I felt the tears start to form in the corner of my eyes. I jumped up from the couch and walked over to Edward, hesitating for a moment before carefully and slowly pulling my arms around his waist.

"I'm sorry, I really am truly sorry. I didn't mean what I said. You're not a _killer_, Edward.."

His chest was still stiff. He effortlessly pried my arms away from him as he spoke, "Yes, I am, Bella. That's exactly what I am, and no matter how much I will always love you, it won't change the fact that every second I am around you, breathing you, touching you, hearing your heartbeat and seeing the blood pulsing through your neck, I want to kill you."

I sighed, sinking my shoulders and walking back over to the couch. I gulped, loudly, and the room was quiet for a long ten minutes while I thought to myself. Edward finally spoke, his voice giving me shivers after the long silence.

"Do you love me, Bella? Because the love we shared, it was epic, and unending. I know I still love you, and I understand that you are with Jacob now, and you are going to marry him, but I need to know, do you still love me too?"

His words made my heart stop and my palms sweat. I did still love Edward, I loved him a _lot_, but my love for him didn't change the fact that he left me, so many years ago, with a hole in my chest that only Jacob could repair. It didn't change the fact that I felt that I was _supposed_ to be with Jacob.

"I, uhm," I choked. My tongue was dry and my throat was swollen. I couldn't speak. I didn't _want_ to speak. I didn't want to admit I'd gotten myself back in the middle of this stupid love triangle. Saying the words out loud made them real. I didn't want reality. I wanted my stupid little fairy tale life. And I wanted it free of complications. I wanted to hole myself away with Jacob in a house on the res and never leave. And I wanted to run to Edward and hold him in my arms and kiss him without restraint and be with him forever.

"It's okay. I understand," he said, snapping me back to reality. He slowly walked toward me and kissed my hand and told me, "I'll be okay. Have a nice life, Bella," and when I blinked he was gone. Again. I felt the hole punch and kick and rip and snarl it's way back into my chest. The hole was back. Edward was gone.

My hands were shaking when I picked up the phone and dialed. I was greeted with the usual chipper "Hey, Bells!" and when I tried to speak, my voice cracked.

"Jacob?" I whispered, "I need you right now. I need to talk to you."


End file.
